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07/07/2005: "Get the Sanctometer"

ONLY 299.95
(19.99/month for 24 months)

The essential

Marriage Sanctometer

Are you worried that the gays have taken all the sanctity out of your Marriage? Have you found that strippers, hookers, and secretaries are not helping as much as they used too. Do you need to know the truth? You need the Marriage Sanctometer.

Brought to you by the same people that brought you the virginity detector, the liberalism eradicator, and the minority blood quantameter, This product actually gives you a real time measurement of the Sanctity of your marriage.

You simply insert the probe into the anal cavity of your spouse, enter important demographic information like the amount of money you have contributed to Republican causes, your promise keepers membership number, and the fully digital display will let you know if the current state of the world is effecting your family.

Watch the number go down when you daughter brings her partner home. Watch them go back up when she becomes friends with Chaney’s daughter.

As an added benefit, there is a switch which can let you know if your spouse has been masturbating or having sex with someone else. These important data points contribute to your overall sanctity score, but you can view the results separately.

No household should be without this important appliance.

They make excellent Wedding gifts, bachelor party favors, or Mother’s day surprises.

Order yours Today.
Rapture products
PO Box 666
Atlanta GA 55555

Or go online to
www.dtilsen.new/blog


husbands only, the wife model is may be developed in the future (hold your breath)